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Commentary
Achieved
26622 Learner 1 (PDF | 257 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English classroom context (novel study as required by EN2). The learner has written about the novel Tomorrow, When the War Began.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month as required by EN3.
The text is of sufficient length and complexity to reflect the requirements of Sep 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy to meet EN5.
The learner has been given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise, and edit their writing without specific assistance as required by EN6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose, which is for the learner to describe an interesting character from a novel and explain why they are interesting. The ideas in the text are directly about the character Ellie and show why the learner thinks Ellie is interesting as required by Evidence Requirement (ER) 1.1.
The text is paragraphed and ideas have been organised appropriately (both within and between paragraphs) to suit the stated purpose and text type. In this case, the text has an introduction (1) which describes Ellie and introduces the two reasons the learner thinks Ellie is interesting: because she is brave and rough. Paragraph 2 expands on Ellie’s bravery (2) and paragraph 3 expands on her roughness (3). The final paragraph is a conclusion (4) as required by ER1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience to meet ER1.3.
This text reflects the level of technical accuracy required for ER1.4. For example, the learner has correctly used: punctuation to show where sentences begin and end, more complex punctuation to assist meaning (5) consistent verb tenses (6) subject-verb and noun-pronoun agreement (7), and spelling (including a number of more complex words with three or more syllables) to meet ER1.4.
Achieved
26622 Learner 2 (PDF | 195 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English classroom context (Sports Teams) to meet EN2. The learner has written a newsletter for the sports team ‘Team Panthers’.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month as required by EN3.
The text is of sufficient length and complexity to reflect the requirements of Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by EN5.
The learner has been given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise, and edit their writing without specific assistance to meet the requirements of EN6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose (which is for the learner to communicate important information to parents and supporters of the team) and audience (which is community members) as required by Evidence Requirement (ER) 1.1.
The text is paragraphed, and ideas have been organised appropriately (both within and between paragraphs) to suit the stated purpose and text type. Information about each key event has been organised into distinct paragraphs. The use of bold font/underlining for emphasis assists further with the organisation of ideas and is appropriate for this team newsletter context (1) to meet ER1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience. For example, the use of the pronouns ‘we’ and ‘you’ (2), the direct acknowledgement to KBR Construction (3) the use of imperatives (4) and the courteous language (5) are all appropriate in this context, as required by ER1.3.
This text reflects the level of technical accuracy required for ER1.4. For example, the learner has correctly used: punctuation to show where sentences begin and end, more complex punctuation to assist meaning (6), consistent verb tense, capital letters (7), and spelling (including some more complex words with three or more syllables).
Not Achieved
26622 Learner 3 (PDF | 292 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English Language context as required by EN2. Te learner has written a text in preparation for a speech called ‘Who wants to live forever?’.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month to meet the requirements of EN3.
The text is of sufficient length and complexity to reflect the requirements of Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by EN5.
The learner has been given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise, and edit their writing without specific assistance to meet EN6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose, which is for the learner to use scientific evidence to support an opinion. Specific scientific evidence is provided (1) and this is used to support the opinion that life would be unsustainable if people lived forever to meet Evidence Requirement (ER) 1.1.
The text is paragraphed and ideas have been organised appropriately (both within and between paragraphs) to suit the stated purpose and text type to meet ER1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience. For example, the use of rhetorical questions (2) and direct speech (3) are appropriate in the context of delivering a speech to meet ER1.3.
This text does not reflect the level of technical accuracy required for ER1.4. There are a range of technical errors that detract from communication. These include: run-on sentences (4), incorrect or missing apostrophes (5) capitalisation (6) spelling (7) sentence structure (8) and subject-verb agreement(9). Such errors need to be reduced in order to meet ER1.4.
Not Achieved
26622 Learner 4 (PDF | 292 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English classroom context (Creative Writing) as required by EN2. The learner has written a text called ‘Rafting adventure’.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month as required by EN3.
The text is of sufficient length and complexity to reflect the requirements of Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by EN5.
The learner must be given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise and edit their writing without specific assistance. In this case, the teacher has provided specific assistance through their detailed proofreading of the learner’s text. This does not meet the requirement for the learner to have independent control of the writing process as required by EN6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose, which is for the learner to produce a piece of creative writing based on a personal experience to meet Evidence Requirement (ER) 1.1.
The text is paragraphed and ideas have been organised appropriately (both within and between paragraphs) to suit the stated purpose and text type to meet ER1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience. For example, the use of full capitals for emphasis (1) is appropriate in the context of creative writing to meet ER1.3.
The learner’s original version of the text (ignoring the teacher’s markings) does not reflect the level of technical accuracy required by ER1.4. Errors in the learner’s text include run-on sentences (2), incorrect or missing punctuation (3), incorrect or missing capitalisation (4), spelling errors (5) and inconsistent tense (6) as required by ER1.4.
Not Achieved
26622 Learner 5 (PDF | 174 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English classroom context (Sports Teams) as required by EN 2. The learner has written a letter of reference.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month as required by EN 3.
The text is of sufficient length and complexity to reflect the requirements of Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by EN 5.
The learner has been given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise, and edit their writing without specific assistance as required by EN 6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose, which is for the learner to write a professional letter of reference for another person to meet Evidence Requirement 1.1.
The organisation of the letter is appropriate for the professional reference format (headers and signature) (1). However, this text does not meet the requirement of ER 1.2 because the main body of the letter (2)has not been paragraphed and the ideas in that section have not been appropriately organised. For this standard, although not all texts in the learner portfolio are required to be paragraphed, a text must be paragraphed if the length or nature of the text requires this. In this case, the main body paragraph of the text contains a long list of statements about Tui but these have not been organised in a coherent order (for example, first describing how the writer knows Tui, then discussing Tui’s leadership skills, and finally discussing his character). The length of the main body paragraph (2) also indicates that further subdivision into paragraphs is needed to meet ER 1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience. In the context of a professional reference, highly formal language is required to meet ER 1.3.
The text reflects the required level of technical accuracy. In the context of a professional reference, a high level of technical accuracy is required to meet ER 1.4.
Not Achieved
26622 Learner 6 (PDF | 121 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English classroom context (Film Study) as required by EN2. The learner has written answers to a set of questions about the film Whale Rider.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month as required by EN3.
This text is not of sufficient length and complexity to reflect the requirements of step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy. Much of the language is simple and the vocabulary is familiar. Parts of the text have not been written using full sentences (1). The length of the responses is insufficient to meet the requirements of the standard as required by EN5.
The learner has been given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise and edit their writing without specific assistance as required by EN6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose, which is for the learner to answer questions about a film to meet Evidence Requirement (ER) 1.1.
The learners must demonstrate that they can independently organise ideas within a text and link ideas within and between paragraphs. In this sample, the short answer questions do not allow the learner the opportunity to demonstrate sufficient evidence of organising ideas to meet ER1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience. For example, film techniques (cross-cut, close up) and characters (Koro, Pai) have been named correctly (2) to meet ER1.3.
This text reflects the level of technical accuracy required to meet ER1.4.
Not Achieved
26622 Learner 7 (PDF | 89 KB)Commentary
For Outcome 1, learners must write texts to communicate ideas for a purpose and audience that reflect the writing demands described by Step 4 of the ‘Write to communicate’ strand of the Learning Progressions for Adult Literacy as required by Explanatory Note (EN) 5.
The evidence for this text was naturally occurring from an English Language learning context as required by EN2. The learner has written an introductory text about themselves.
This sample of learner work has been taken from a portfolio of evidence generated over a period of at least one month as required by EN3.
The length of this text is acceptable. However, to meet EN5, the learner needs to demonstrate the appropriate use of a range of sentence structures (including some complex sentences) and some specialised, less familiar, language. In this text, the use of formulaic and repetitive sentence structures (‘I’m...’, ‘My...’, ‘I’ve...’) and mostly familiar vocabulary (self: family, school, hobbies) does not demonstrate the level of complexity described by step 4 as required by EN5.
The learner has been given the opportunity to plan, compose, revise and edit their writing without specific assistance as required by EN6.
The ideas expressed in this text are appropriate for the stated purpose of the learner introducing herself to classmates to meet Evidence Requirement (ER) 1.1.
The text is paragraphed and ideas have been organised appropriately to suit the stated purpose and text type to meet ER1.2.
The language used is appropriate for the stated purpose and audience to meet ER1.3.
The text reflects the level of technical accuracy required at ER1.4.
This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.
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Using 266 unit standards for the Literacy and Numeracy co-requisite (external link) - NCEA.education