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Commentary
Low Excellence
Commentary
For Excellence, the student needs to devise and perform an effective drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and compelling drama that is highly engaging and powerful and realising it in performance.
This student has devised an original and compelling solo drama, using stylistic choices from Artaud to engage the audience and in which the ideas are conveyed in an abstract form using movement and gesture. She has worked imaginatively with time so the piece flows with original and clear use of conventions between pieces of action.
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0:00 – 02:52 |
The concept is clearly explained verbally. Further supporting evidence is not necessary. This evidence can also be used for 91516. |
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03:32 |
The connections between pieces of action are original: the buzzing fly (literal / nightmares / fearful thoughts) has layers of meaning and is highly engaging. |
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03:40 |
The use of te reo supports the concept and adds impact. |
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03:56 |
The marching soldier morphs into the fearful soldier. This a seamless transition and is a powerful contrast. |
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06:01 |
The slow motion salute (ritualised) morphing into the shooting has layers of meaning and is powerful. This morphs into the wiri with the hands in the position of the mother holding a baby – and the wail of grief (the soldier who dies / mother who loses son). |
For a more secure Excellence, use of space could be developed to make symbolic connections to other sections in the drama.
High Merit
91513A Exemplar High Merit (PDF | 48 KB)
Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to devise and perform a coherent drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and convincing drama that has flow and dramatic unity and realising it in performance.
The student assessed is at the left of the screen at the beginning.
This student has devised a drama from a concept (1) with a clear style of physical theatre that results in a coherent drama with serious ideas juxtaposed with humour. They have performed an original and convincing drama that has flow and dramatic unity while not depending on technical support to make transitions.
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00:00-00:36 |
The stylised physical ensemble work with sound supports physicality and meaning. Use of levels and body shapes makes a series of interesting and convincing tableaux. |
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00:42 |
The canon of action device highlights the parallels in their lives. |
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01:48 |
As the piece is stylised the non-naturalistic use of space is effective and supports the dramatic pace and the coherence of the drama. |
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01:54 |
Simple physical movement (leg raise) allows the actors to move seamlessly into the next scene at school. |
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02:51 |
The use of the bodies to create the door which leads into the flashback is convincing. |
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05:56 |
The mimed removal of the belt suggests the beating which cannot be enacted on stage and is engaging. |
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06:29 |
The stylised movement and ‘acapella’ singing convincingly convey the inner and external conflict and feelings of the young man. |
To reach Excellence, the student could consider the balance between the inclusions of humour, which does not always move the action on, and the maintenance of the pace of the piece.
Low Merit
91513A Exemplar Low Merit (PDF | 48 KB)
Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to devise and perform a coherent drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and convincing drama that has flow and dramatic unity and realising it in performance.
The student assessed plays the mother.
This student has devised a drama from a concept (1) and realised it coherently. The drama flows without breaks between scenes in performance.
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00:00 |
The conscious use of split stage, dressed effectively to represent the two families, with rich and poor mums facing in and daughter(s) at the centre supports the concept. Direct address by the daughter to the audience introduces the theme. |
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00:59 |
The parallel between the families is established with the mothers involved in the same domestic work. Repetition of the scene is modified to maintain the parallels in the concept but also introduce rich / poor differences. |
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08:04 |
A soliloquy is communicated as daughter packs the suitcase. This gives inner thoughts and links back to the beginning of the piece and adds coherence. |
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09:50 |
The final scene reposes the initial question and links back to the beginning creating dramatic unity. |
For a more secure Merit, the student could edit the drama further to develop a stronger dramatic pace showing more of what is happening rather than telling.
High Achieved
91513A Exemplar High Achieved (PDF | 49 KB)
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to devise and perform a drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and credible drama and realising it in performance.
The student assessed plays Frieda the dancer.
This student has devised a credible drama and realised the concept (1) in performance.
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00:00 |
Voice over of Frieda as an introduction is credible. |
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00:09 |
The main character, who is a dancer, dances convincingly. The movement is integrated credibly with the voice over. |
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00:55 |
The formal voice over delivers verdict and signals the transition back in time. |
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04:36 |
Violence at this point is performed credibly. |
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04:57 |
The voice over with the character frozen is convincing. |
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07:40 |
The ending ties back effectively to the beginning, with the direct speech of the character replacing the voice over. The ‘taking off’ the dancing shoes supports the concept. |
To reach Merit, the student could create transitions that ensure the drama flows smoothly between scenes, and refinement of dialogue is needed to build a more convincing drama.
Low Achieved
91513A Exemplar Low Achieved (ZIP | 55 MB)
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to devise and perform a drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and credible drama and realising it in performance.
The student assessed is the female that enters first and is wearing black clothing.
This student has interpreted an event from the museum visit and moved their interpretation to a modern context (1), devising an original drama which has contemporary relevance. The drama is, on the whole, credible with a central conflict and two characters that are believable.
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00:11 |
The presence of the second character is established by the use of focus, pause and silence. |
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00:38 |
The use of the names of finance companies indicates that they may have done some research. |
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01:16 |
The presence of the second character is clearly established with the handshake and the response to the invitation to sit down. |
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01:28 |
The use of levels signals relative power that supports the concept and is credible. |
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03:34 |
The use of monologue conveys the inner conflict. |
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05:28 |
A credible final moment establishes the relationships as the third character leaves and this supports the concept. |
For a more secure Achieved, the student could make stylistic decisions and be consistent with these to be more credible. This piece was largely naturalistic and the use of monologue needs modification to fit with the style of the rest of the piece. Abstraction in the ideas need to be developed and / or the mode of performance.
High Not Achieved
91513A Exemplar High Not Achieved (PDF | 49 KB)
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to devise and perform a drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and credible drama and realising it in performance.
The student assessed is wearing a long black skirt.
This student has interpreted an event from the museum visit and devised an original drama, the drama has a simple concept (1) with limited credibility developed in the decision making about the use of drama elements.
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02:10 |
The decision to have a third character who is on stage but not seen is well signalled in the performance. |
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06:18 |
The look over the shoulder shows the collusion between the husband and wife and supports ideas in the concept. |
To reach Achieved, the student could develop a consistent style so that the piece is credible. Consideration of the use of space would clarify settings, and transitions need to be planned between scenes so that a stage crew is not moving furniture.
Clarification of the use of the symbol is also necessary, as an apple traditionally represents temptation and this piece is about blackmail and coercion. Students are also expected to identify a style for their performance.
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This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.
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