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Commentary
Low Excellence
91102 Exemplar Low Excellence (MP4 | 60 MB)Commentary
For Excellence, the student needs to construct and deliver an effective crafted and controlled oral text that commands attention.
This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas effectively and using appropriate oral language features to create meaning, effects and audience engagement.
This student has constructed and delivered a debate speech, arguing that punishment of sports teams for fans’ behaviour does not work. Ideas are developed and sustained effectively by making three main points. These are explained using clear and relevant reasoning. Argument and examples from the opposing team is used to make insightful conclusions. There is a logical structure to the rebuttal speech.
The student’s use of oral language features is appropriate to the purpose and audience of the debate, and commands attention. There is audience engagement through confident and sustained use of eye contact, facial expression and gesture. The tone, variety and pace of voice are articulate. The deliberate use of humour creates effects and engages the audience.
For a more secure Excellence, the student could sustain ideas more effectively by elaborating further on points made about players’ careers and teams’ lack of moral responsibility.
High Merit
91102 Exemplar High Merit (MP4 | 65 MB)Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to construct and deliver a crafted and controlled oral text that is convincing.
This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas convincingly and using appropriate oral language features to create meaning, effects and audience interest.
This student has constructed and delivered a speech about heroes. The opening gives three clear main points about heroes. There is relevant reasoning about how heroes are considered as role models, supported by insightful examples. The ideas are built on and linked convincingly, by explaining what heroes teach us. The speech is clearly structured and concludes with relevance of heroes today and in the future.
The student’s use of oral language features is appropriate to the purpose and audience of the speech, and creates convincing effects. Audience interest is created through the deliberate use of rhetorical language, facial expression and gesture, tone and variety of voice.
To reach Excellence, the student could sustain ideas through further explanation of the media’s portrayal of heroism as romanticised. The comments about ‘Parker’ and ‘Carter’ could be developed further. The student could also use body language more confidently to sustain audience engagement.
Low Merit
Commentary
No student exemplar available.
High Achieved
91102 Exemplar High Achieved (MP4 | 50 MB)Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to construct and deliver a crafted and controlled oral text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.
This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas and using appropriate oral language features to create meaning and effects.
This student has constructed and delivered a speech about the influence of the media. Ideas about the use of the media for publicity only are built on and supported with examples that are appropriate to the audience and purpose. The main idea is sustained through a reasoned and relevant explanation of the purpose of sensationalisation of the news. Personal connections are made to the topic.
The student’s use of oral language features is appropriate for a persuasive speech. There is sufficient eye contact and vocal tone and pace are varied, with some deliberate use of gesture and facial expression
To reach Merit, the student could slow the pace of delivery to ensure clarity of expression and sustain audience interest. Ideas could be sustained consistently by developing explanations of what the audience can do if worried about something.
Low Achieved
Commentary
No student exemplar available.
High Not Achieved
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to construct and deliver a crafted and controlled oral text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.
This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas and using appropriate oral language features to create meaning and effects.
Student work is not available at this grade. A student at this grade may, for example, construct and deliver a speech about a character in To Kill a Mockingbird. This could incorporate a role play between two characters that introduces the idea of Scout’s naive opinion of her father. This idea could be developed by linking it to statements about Scout’s attitudes before and after an event. These points would be structured around a description of that event.
The use of oral language features would be occasionally appropriate to audience and purpose. The student might typically use a clear tone of voice, with some variation of tone and use of pause for effect.
To reach Achieved, the student must sustain the ideas presented by supporting and connecting them with explanation, comments or interpretations of the role play. Ideas at curriculum level 7 need to be comprehensive, showing depth of thought.
The student must deliberately select language features to create meaning and effects. This could be done by slowing the pace of delivery and varying the tone of voice.
This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.
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