AS 91476 Annotated exemplars

This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.

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TKI English assessment resources (external link)

For Excellence, the student needs to create and deliver a fluent and coherent text, which develops, sustains and structures ideas and commands attention.

This involves demonstrating a sophisticated understanding of audience and purpose through the insightful integration of ideas, oral language features and effective structures, creating a striking whole.

This student has delivered a fluent and coherent seminar about Iago’s manipulative use of Aristotelian rhetoric.  

A central idea is developed by definition of Aristotelian rhetoric and subsequent identification of Iago as a Machiavellian villain, linking this to Iago’s command of rhetoric and comparison with a similar recent historical figure, illustrations by reference to further speeches in Othello, and relating Aristotelian concepts to modern day rhetoric.

The use of the structural conventions of a lecture begins to command attention by the insightful integration of a range of oral language features, such as precise diction and terminology, confident direct address to the audience, vocal variation and a dramatized reading. Interest is sustained by a mix of informal language to create rapport and precise diction to reinforce audience understanding. Visual and verbal transitions connect ideas and create a fluent coherent text.   

For a more secure Excellence, the student could further develop fluency in oral language features to sustain audience interest (e.g. coordinate and respond to audience responses more effectively), and explore speech extracts in greater depth with reference to ideas of Machiavellian villainy, to create a striking whole. 

For Merit, the student needs to create and deliver a fluent and coherent oral text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, and is convincing.

This involves demonstrating a discerning understanding of audience and purpose through the insightful integration of ideas, oral language features and effective structures, creating a convincing whole.

The student delivers a convincing fluent, coherent lecture about dystopian literature.

A central idea about the relationship of totalitarianism and dystopian fiction is developed by defining and linking key terms and concepts and ideas to specific evidence from texts. Specific textual details about totalitarianism are linked to historical contexts and the purpose of the writer, followed by summarising the characteristics of dystopic fiction, and challenging the audience to consider their own world.

The use of the structural conventions of a lecture becomes convincing by the discerning integration of diction and syntax, sufficient vocal variation and eye contact, selecting a class activity to establish links, and integrating these with verbal transitions and visual material.

To reach Excellence, the student could develop ideas with further insight (e.g. the authors’ disillusionment with their own society), and insightfully select and integrate effective structures (e.g. class activities, effective ‘pacing’ of the delivery), to further sustain audience interest and to command attention.

For Merit, the student needs to create and deliver a fluent and coherent oral text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, and is convincing.

This involves demonstrating a discerning understanding of audience and purpose through the discriminating selection and integration of ideas, oral language features.

This student has developed and structured ideas a convincing speech about what motivates people and can bring about social change.

A central idea about the importance of encouragement is developed by using childhood anecdotes, acknowledgement of the importance of others’ support, exploring concerns of young adults facing challenges, and linking this to possible solutions.

The use of language features becomes convincing through the integration of the conventions of a valedictory speech to her peers with a challenge for the future, the use of a range of rhetorical devices (imperative, colloquialism, pronouns, quotation and parallel construction), a ‘friendship’ motif, and sufficient use of vocal variation, eye contact and body language.

For a more secure Merit, the student could sustain the central idea more convincingly by using clearer transitions between sections of the idea development, and make more discriminating use of delivery techniques (e.g. ‘pacing’ and expression) to sustain interest.

For Achieved, the student needs to create and deliver a fluent and coherent oral text which develops, sustains and structures ideas.

This involves demonstrating an understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and the selection and use of structures and oral language features to create consistency in meaning and effect, and to sustain interest.

This student has created and delivered a fluent and coherent lecture about the significance of child narrators in literature.

A central idea about childhood perspective is developed by selecting appropriate oral language features to create consistency in meaning and effect, such as identifying the purpose and use of this perspective in two texts, illustrating by examples, explaining the effect of this perspective, and identifying a linked theme in the childhood perspective of the texts.

Understanding of audience and purpose is demonstrated by the appropriate use of the structural conventions of a lecture and choice of diction and syntax, sufficient vocal variation and eye contact, selecting a class activity to establish links, and integrating these with verbal transitions and visual material.

To reach Merit, the student could explore ideas in greater depth, and make more discriminating use of delivery techniques (e.g. ‘pacing’ and expression) to sustain interest.

For Achieved, the student needs to create and deliver a fluent and coherent oral text which develops, sustains and structures ideas.

This involves demonstrating an understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and the selection and use of structures and oral language features to create consistency in meaning and effect, and to sustain interest.

This student has presented a sufficiently fluent and coherent lecture which demonstrates an understanding about representations of revenge in literary texts and how these link to wider society.

The central idea is developed by presenting an opening scenario which engages the audience, identifying both the gratifying and destructive nature of revenge, exploring characters’ motivation for and consequences of revenge in literary texts, and linking to examples of revenge in today’s society.

Understanding of purpose and audience is demonstrated by the appropriate selection of language features such as the use of the structural conventions of a lecture, a range of effective delivery techniques and humour to engage with the audience, and the selection of an activity and visual material to create and sustain interest and signal the progression of ideas.

For a more secure Achieved, the student could develop ideas in further detail (e.g. by analysing in greater depth the psychology of revenge in literary characters and real life), and integrate and sequence points regarding research and revenge more coherently and fluently.

For Achieved, the student needs to create and deliver a fluent and coherent oral text which develops, sustains and structures ideas.

This involves demonstrating an understanding of audience and purpose. This is through the development of linked ideas and the use of structures and oral language features to create consistent meaning and effect for sustained interest.

There is no student work available at this grade. A student at this grade may, for example, give a speech about the stereotyping, judging and rejection of people in society. The student could begin to develop ideas by describing their growing awareness of how judgemental some people are, and supporting this with anecdotes. This could be linked to a consideration of the impact of actions on others.

A student at this level would use oral language features and structures that sometimes create consistency of meaning and effect. The audience would be engaged in places, such as at the start of the speech. The student would make their delivery with some vocal variation, appropriate body language and eye contact. 

To reach Achieved, the student could explore ideas that are outlined, such as bullying and the media influence, so that these ideas become developed and sustained. The student could select and use transitions to connect anecdotes to the ideas to create consistency in meaning.