AS 91477A Annotated exemplars

This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.

Download all exemplars and commentary [PDF, 540 KB]

TKI English assessment resources (external link)

For Excellence, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language, and commands attention.

This involves demonstrating a sophisticated understanding of audience and purpose through the insightful selection and integration of ideas, visual language features, and structure to create a striking whole.

This student has created a visual essay on ideas of the American Dream in The Great Gatsby. The student has used silhouettes, fonts, symbols, layout and structure to create a striking whole. Visual symbolism is extensive: American bills, grunge, colours (green, red/white/blue), items for characters (e.g. Daisy’s earring) and transparency. The integration of visual features with use of music demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of purpose.

The developed and sustained ideas are integrated through the visual and verbal aspects of the text. A generally sophisticated understanding of purpose is demonstrated by ideas about the accessibility of the American Dream, corruption of the Dream by wealth, human nature and excess, and the effect on relationships. There is convincing development through the links with Gatsby’s purity contrasted with Tom and Daisy’s destruction.

For a more secure Excellence, the student could select images representing the death of Gatsby and the American Dream that are visually consistent with the style of the rest of the visual essay, making the text a consistently striking whole.

For Merit, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language, and is convincing.

This involves demonstrating a discerning understanding of audience and purpose through the discriminating selection and integration of ideas, visual language features, and structure.

This student has created a visual essay on ideas of loss of innocence in The Catcher in the Rye, using a discriminating selection and integration of symbols such as the record, the hand and hunting hat across the slides. The use of layout, proportion and placement is convincing, and their use in some of the slides commands attention (e.g. the telephone as a lifeline in panel two).

The student has developed and sustained ideas about innocence (searching for it, its loss) across the text convincingly, e.g. death’s hand getting closer, the changes with the record and the hunting hat, the repetition of the sister’s image in the first and last slides. The insightful selection of music sets mood, supports ideas and integrates the linking ideas.

To reach Excellence, the student could further integrate ideas about madness/death through the use of the hand symbol. The ideas associated with the hunting hat could be more clearly developed for the audience so that the text becomes a striking whole.

For Merit, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language, and is convincing.

This involves demonstrating a discerning understanding of audience and purpose through the discriminating selection and integration of ideas, visual language features, and structure.

There is no student work available at this grade. A student could, for example, create a visual sequence showing the idealism and reality of war. The student would begin developing ideas by depicting the confident soldier initially immaculately uniformed, upright, flanked by an unfurled flag against blue skies. Symbolism and colour could suggest patriotic ideals. Consistency in meaning would be created by appropriately chosen lines from the text.

The visual text would become fluent and coherent through further sequencing, reflecting the soldier’s increasing disillusionment and final despair by the use of change in colour, symbolism through the dimishing stance of the soldier, condition of the flag, spilt blood and darkening background. Accompanying text from the short stories would be chosen and integrated to support the shift from idealism to realism throughout the sequence.

For a more secure Merit, the student could further integrate and develop ideas  relating to the nature of war such as the effects of patriotism, the pressure to conform, and sacrifice. The student would use the conventions of the chosen text to produce a compelling presentation suitable for publication.

For Achieved, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language.

This involves demonstrating understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and links between them throughout a visual text. It also involves the selection and use of structures and visual language features appropriate to the particular visual text, to create consistency in meaning and effect and to sustain interest.

This student has created a visual essay on ideas of friendship, hope and the negative effects of imprisonment in the film The Shawshank Redemption. These ideas are developed and sustained by making links between them throughout the text.

The student uses appropriate language features such as repetition, symbolism and quotations. The selection of visual language features, such as layout and choice of screenshots, creates consistent effects and sustains audience interest. There is a recognisable visual style.

The discriminating use of sound effects, such as dripping water and hammering, supports the ideas of hope over time and the prison environment. This is supported convincingly with the repetition and progression of the hammer and tunnel image.

To reach Merit, the student could sustain the idea of freedom that is presented in the ending sequence by using visual symbols and layout that is discerning and visually consistent with the rest of the visual essay.

For Achieved, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language.

This involves demonstrating understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and links between them throughout a visual text. It also involves the selection and use of structures and visual language features appropriate to the particular visual text, to create consistency in meaning and effect and to sustain interest.

This student has created a visual essay on ideas of prejudice/discrimination and determination in the film Gattaca. The slides are in a coherent order.

The selection of contrasting images and montage in slides 1, 4, 5 and 6 gives information about prejudice/discrimination in the world of Gattaca. The selection and repetition of the double helix image (1) is just sufficient to create consistency in meaning across the text.

The selection of arrow symbols links to the idea of Vincent’s upward progress as a result of his determination. The use of the water imagery (2) works with the selection of shots from the film just sufficiently to develop and sustain this idea. Appropriate quotes are used to create consistency with the selected images. The language features selected are just sufficient to sustain audience interest.

For a more secure Achieved, the student could further sustain ideas so that they are consistently coherent. The student could rely less on images from the film Gattaca to illustrate ideas, by using more symbolic visual language to sustain those ideas.

For Achieved, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language.

This involves demonstrating understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and links between them throughout a visual text. It also involves the selection and use of structures and visual language features appropriate to the particular visual text, to create consistency in meaning and effect and to sustain interest.

This student has created a visual essay of ideas about prejudice/discrimination and determination in the film Gattaca. This is structured as a series of slides that show the different journeys of the characters Jerome and Vincent.

The student has selected visual language features such as contrasting images and montage in slides 2 and 3 to give information about discrimination in Gattaca. The use of the arrow symbol in several slides and the selection of images in slides 7, 8 and 13 makes links between characters and the idea of determination. Appropriate quotes are used to create consistency with the selected images.

To reach Achieved, the student could create fluency through consistent use of appropriate visual features such as balance, layout and selection of image quality. Ideas need to be sustained by incorporating more visual material beyond that from the film itself. The student needs to create an original visual text that is largely their own work.