Download all exemplars
Commentary
Low Excellence
91478 Exemplar Low Excellence (PDF | 42 KB)Commentary
For Excellence, the student needs to respond critically and perceptively to significant connections across texts, supported by evidence.
This involves making sophisticated and insightful and/or original interpretations and judgements across at least four texts.
This student has referred to four texts: The Things They Carried, On the Rainy River, The Dentist and Enemies and Friends, responding critically and perceptively to connections across these texts, i.e. the destructiveness of war (1), supported by evidence.
The student has made sophisticated and insightful interpretations about how conflict through war leads to the moral corruption of those participating in it. The judgement of the author’s subversion of the genre shows insightful critical response to how all texts are linked (2).
The significance of the connection is integrated and reinforced with cross references to other texts, building a perceptive interpretation of how war damages soldiers (3). The student has continued to interpret, integrate and evaluate ideas about what the texts say about the burden of war and how they say it. This consolidates the student’s sophisticated critical response (4).
For a more secure Excellence, the student could provide clearer links between interpretations and specific examples from the texts (5).
High Merit
91478 Exemplar High Merit (PDF | 40 KB)Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to respond critically and convincingly to significant connections across texts, supported by evidence.
This involves making discerning and informed interpretations and judgements across at least four texts.
This student has referred to four texts: The Speckled Band, The Five Orange Pips, A Case of Identity and A Scandal in Bohemia, responding critically and convincingly to connections across these texts, i.e. societal problems at the time of writing (1), supported by evidence.
The student has made discerning interpretations of a range societal problems. A convincing critical response to ideas of control (2) (3) (4) (5) across the texts is built in section one. These are linked in sections two and three to discerning judgements about ideas about gender, equality and greed as part of societal problems. There are several convincing evaluative judgements about gender (6).
To reach Excellence, the student could develop the interpretations and judgements in section two so that they become sophisticated and insightful.
Low Merit
91478 Exemplar Low Merit (PDF | 394 KB)Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to respond critically and convincingly to significant connections across texts, supported by evidence.
This involves making discerning and informed interpretations and judgements across at least four texts.
This student has referred to four texts: Crash, Day Trip, Coffee and Allah and I am Māori, responding critically and convincingly to connections across these texts, i.e. the challenges involved in overcoming stereotypes (1) (15), supported by evidence.
The student makes convincing interpretations of how the characters in the texts are challenged by society’s negative interpretation to characteristics such as physical appearance (2) (3), race (4) and religion (5). There is some discerning interpretation of how the characters themselves react to these stereotypes (6) (7) (8) (9), as well as some convincing critical judgements about society and stereotypes (10) (11) (12) (13).
For a more secure Merit, the student could develop further discerning critique and evaluation about the choices that individuals themselves make in their selection and use of stereotypes. For example, the judgement that the ‘viewer sees Willy as another gang member’ (3) could become more discerning through an evaluation of Willy’s decision to wear ‘gang patches on his clothing’ (3).
Similarly, further evaluation is needed of the tension between having ‘the power to not let it [stereotypes] affect us’ (12) and that ‘children’s education and employment potential are affected by their upbringing’ (8).
High Achieved
91478 Exemplar High Achieved (PDF | 37 KB)Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to respond critically to significant connections across texts, supported by evidence.
This involves making evaluative interpretations and judgements across at least four texts.
This student has referred to four texts: The Lost Decade, Babylon Revisited, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Winter Dreams, responding critically to connections across these texts, i.e. the relationships between youth, innocence and ageing (1), supported by evidence.
The student has made an interpretation of the connection in The Lost Decade (2). There is an evaluative judgement of Charlie’s role in Babylon Revisited that has a reference made to the connection (3). The second section presents critical response to ideas of aging, focusing on two texts, which begins to be convincing (5). The third section links the critical response across all texts (6) (7).
To reach Merit, the student could link the discussion of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button more closely to the identified connection so that it becomes convincing. Some statements about Babylon Revisited could be expressed more clearly so that the student’s meaning is clear.
Low Achieved
91478 Exemplar Low Achieved (PDF | 38 KB)Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to respond critically to significant connections across texts, supported by evidence.
This involves making evaluative interpretations and judgements across at least four texts.
This student has referred to four texts: Anthem for Doomed Youth, Arms and the Boy, Dulce et Decorum Est and The Unreturning, responding critically to connections across these texts, i.e. the destructiveness of war (1), supported by evidence.
The student has clarified the significance of the identified connection (2), making a judgement about the immaturity and obedience of young men in Anthem for Doomed Youth (3), and has just sufficiently evaluated this idea in Arms and the Boy (4). Some parts of the connection are clarified, then evaluated across the texts (5). Just sufficient judgements are made (6) (7).
For a more secure Achieved, the student could clarify some statements (8) so that the link to the connection, and the meaning, is clear.
High Not Achieved
91478 Exemplar High Not Achieved (PDF | 35 KB)Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to respond critically to significant connections across texts, supported by evidence.
This involves making evaluative interpretations and judgements across at least four texts.
This student has referred to four texts: Robot Visions, The Machine that Won the War, Someday and Nightfall, responding to connections across these texts, i.e. morality during times of change (1), supported by evidence.
The student has summarised the text Robot Visions with an emphasis on the uncertainty of the future, with some interpretation (2). There is an implied, loose reference made to the connection (2) (3), in the interpretation of the next two texts. The discussion of Nightfall begins to link to the idea of moral control (4) and then shifts to an interpretation about control of the environment (5).
To reach Achieved, the student could more clearly establish the significant connection across all texts so that the aspects and interpretations discussed for each text link across all those texts. The concluding statement could link to that stated in the introduction (6). The discussion needs to shift to critical response that involves evaluation and judgements.
This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.
Download all exemplars and commentary [PDF, 949 KB]
TKI English assessment resources (external link)