US 28069 A annotated exemplars

This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.

Download all exemplars and commentary [PDF, 948 KB]

For Merit, the learner needs to write a text for a practical purpose.

This involves:

• communicating the practical purpose of the text
• using content, structure, layout and organisation appropriate to the practical purpose, audience, topic and text type
• writing coherent and cohesive text with minor lapses
• using a wide range of language features and vocabulary
• conveying meaning with minor inaccuracies.

This learner has written a formal cover letter applying for part-time job in a hunting and fishing shop.

The purpose of the letter is communicated.

Content, structure, layout and organisation are appropriate to the topic and text type. Formal letter writing conventions are observed throughout. The initial paragraph states the purpose of the letter. Central paragraphs provide information about the applicant’s school subjects and job aspirations, and relevant prior experience and skills, with reference to an accompanying CV. The concluding paragraph invites further contact.

The letter is coherent and cohesive. Information is clear, comprehensible and logically sequenced. Some cohesive devices, including conjunctions and pronoun reference, are used to link information within paragraphs (1), with minor lapses.

A wide range of language features and vocabulary is used to communicate information. These include simple, compound and complex sentences (2) and verb forms (3). A wide range of vocabulary is used, including some collocations (4).

Inaccuracies in verb forms and punctuation occur, but these are minor.

To reach Excellence, the learner could use an extended range of language features and vocabulary.

For Merit, the learner needs to write a text for a practical purpose.

This involves:

• communicating the practical purpose of the text
• using content, structure, layout and organisation appropriate to the practical purpose, audience, topic and text type
• writing coherent and cohesive text with minor lapses
• using a wide range of language features and vocabulary
• conveying meaning with minor inaccuracies.

This learner has written a formal cover letter applying for part-time job as a diesel mechanic.

The purpose of the letter is communicated with reference to the job advertisement and the newspaper in which it was published.

Content, structure and organisation are appropriate to the topic and text type. The initial paragraph states the purpose of the letter. Central paragraphs provide information about why the applicant is applying for the job, previous experience and knowledge, and other relevant information. The concluding paragraph requests an opportunity for an interview and provides information about availability for this. Formal letter writing conventions, including layout, are observed, with minor lapses.

The letter is coherent and cohesive. Information is clear, comprehensible and logically sequenced. Some cohesive devices, including conjunctions and pronoun reference, are used to link information within paragraphs (1).

A wide range of language features and vocabulary is used to communicate information. These include simple, compound and complex sentences (2) and verb forms, including modals and passive voice (3). A wide range of topic-specific vocabulary is used, including some collocations (4).

Inaccuracies in word choice and verb forms occur, but these are minor.

For Merit, the learner needs to write a text for a practical purpose.

This involves:

• communicating the practical purpose of the text
• using content, structure, layout and organisation appropriate to the practical purpose, audience, topic and text type
• writing coherent and cohesive text with minor lapses
• using a wide range of language features and vocabulary
• conveying meaning with minor inaccuracies.

This learner has written a formal cover letter applying for a job as kitchen hand and counter staff at a restaurant.

The purpose of the letter is communicated.

Content, structure, layout and organisation are appropriate to the topic and text type. Formal letter writing conventions are observed, although the recipient’s first name is used in the salutation. The initial paragraph states the purpose of the letter. Central paragraphs provide information about why the applicant would like the job, previous experience, skills and some personal qualities, and the availability of certificates, a CV and references upon request. The concluding paragraph requests an interview and provides information about availability.

The letter is coherent and cohesive. Information is clear and logically sequenced. Cohesive devices, including conjunctions and pronoun reference, are used to link information (1).

A wide range of language features and vocabulary is used. These include simple, compound and complex sentences (2), and verb forms, including modals and passive voice (3). Vocabulary includes collocations (4).

Minor inaccuracies in verb tense and preposition use occur.

For a more secure Merit, the learner needs to use a formal salutation.

For Achieved, the learner needs to write a response for a specific purpose.

This involves:

• communicating the specific purpose of the response
• describing and developing ideas or issues
• using content, structure and organisation appropriate to the specific purpose
• writing coherent and cohesive text
• using a range of language features and vocabulary appropriate to text type
• conveying meaning, although errors and inaccuracies may occur.

The purpose of the letter is communicated with reference to the job advertisement.

Content, structure and layout are generally appropriate. Formal letter writing conventions are observed. The initial paragraph states the purpose of the letter. The following paragraphs provide information about the applicant’s school subjects, skills, sports involvement and qualifications, and availability. Some information is repeated.

The letter is generally coherent and cohesive. Information is clear and comprehensible. Connectives, conjunctions and pronoun reference are used to link information within paragraphs (1).

A range of language features and vocabulary is used to communicate information. These include simple, compound and a limited range of complex sentences (2), as well as verb forms, including modals (3). A limited range of topic-specific vocabulary is used.

Some errors and inaccuracies in prepositions and verb and word forms occur, but these do not obscure meaning.

To reach Achieved, the learner could avoid repetition and use a range of language features and vocabulary.