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Commentary
Low Excellence
91513B Exemplar Low Excellence (PDF | 71 KB)
Commentary
For Excellence, the student needs to devise and perform an effective drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and compelling drama that is highly engaging and powerful and realising it in performance.
The student assessed plays the grandmother.
This student has developed a highly engaging satirical and humorous drama around arranged marriages that effectively realises the concept (1).
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00:00 |
The opening scene creates tension and foreshadows action. |
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00:33 |
The news report item introduces the issue of arranged marriages. |
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01:02 |
The context of the Indian cooking show and the grandmother character are established. |
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02:10-04:40 |
Dialogue and action and satirical humour are effectively used to support the concept, and the double meaning of the ring, eggs, and spice is highly engaging for the audience. Dramatic pace, and the conflict between the two characters are effective. |
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04:50 |
More satirical humour is effectively created when the grandmother chops the vegetables. |
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05:50 |
The comedy is contrasted with conflict and mood is created by the grandmother telling the traditional story. Dialogue and action between the two generations evokes empathy for both characters and is powerful. |
For a more secure Excellence, the student could reconsider the transition to the advertisement break so it does not impact on the flow of the drama.
High Merit
91513B Exemplar High Merit (PDF | 66 KB)
Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to devise and perform a coherent drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and convincing drama that has flow and dramatic unity and realising it in performance.
The student assessed is wearing trousers that have a camouflage pattern.
This student has devised a drama from a concept (1) and presented this in a non-realistic style. The drama uses monologue and stylised physical theatre conventions to convincingly develop the ideas. The drama is coherent with scenes that are clearly identifiable, and the transitions are seamless. Contrast highlights action and ideas.
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05:36 |
The choice of song is appropriate to the time and place and ironically foreshadows the ending. The subsequent movement is convincing. |
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07:20 |
The song creates mood and with the movement, has layers of meaning. The stylised movement is convincing to create the husband the wife relationship, and is contrasted with the marching and running. |
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08:12 |
The transition to marching is seamless and the battle scene that follows is coherent and convincingly choreographed. |
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11:31 |
The ending with the bugle is convincing and with the tableau captures some of the emotion of the action. |
To reach Excellence, the student could consider the use, length and content of monologues and trust the action rather than telling the audience what to think, so that they create a compelling and highly engaging drama.
Low Merit
91513B Exemplar Low Merit (PDF | 66 KB)
Commentary
For Merit, the student needs to devise and perform a coherent drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and convincing drama that has flow and dramatic unity and realising it in performance.
The student assessed plays Abby.
This student has devised a drama from a concept (1) and presented this as a coherent piece. The piece has been well edited so the dialogue does not over explain, is mostly convincing and the audience is left to come to their own conclusions about each of the characters.
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00:05 |
The split stage convention with spotlights defines the two areas and proxemics suggests a close relationship. The opening monologue is used to introduce the character and situation without over telling and draws in the audience. |
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00:37 |
The use of radio broadcast (off stage voice) is convincing to provide the audience with further information to establish the situation. |
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00:58 |
The phone call and conversation with the wife develops the situation and builds tension. |
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06:45 |
The monologue establishes Abby’s feelings. |
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08:07 |
The newspaper, the ringing phone and the radio news subtly convey the ending. |
For a more secure Merit, the student could introduce some aspects to the story that are more convincing, and make the transition to the scene in Abby’s flat seamless.
High Achieved
91513B Exemplar High Achieved (PDF | 67 KB)
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to devise and perform a drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and credible drama and realising it in performance.
The student assessed is wearing white earphones and a black t-shirt.
This student has devised a drama from a concept (1) and realised this in performance. The drama is original and there is some use of symbol to support audience understanding and an attempt to explore abstraction in the presentation of ideas.
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00:12 |
A stylised vocal chorus delivers the introduction credibly. |
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00:45 |
The blocking of the scene focuses the audience on the central character. |
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06:57 |
Chorus is used to underline the pressure of different demands and has credibility. |
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08:23 |
The final rhetorical question is effective in leaving the piece open ended rather than trying to provide artificial answers. |
To reach Merit, the student could move sections of the drama down stage and re-block the action, so that the audience see facial expressions and a connection and coherence is established. To be convincing, students needed to refine the way in which the actors showed that they were ‘in boxes’ and how they ‘hit’ the wall.
Low Achieved
91513B Exemplar Low Achieved (PDF | 67 KB)
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to devise and perform a drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and credible drama and realising it in performance.
The student assessed plays hopscotch at the beginning of the drama.
This student has devised a drama from a concept (1) which is realised in performance. The drama is original and credible.
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00:00 |
The opening establishes the small children characters, and the playground credibly without words, and with action. Dramatic tension is created in the ‘having to leave’. |
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05:10 |
The flash-forward convention and return to the other side is delivered credibly. |
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06:04 |
The final scene provides a resolution. |
For a more secure Achieved, the student could edit the dialogue to remove the wordiness and repetition that undercut the credibility of the work, and enact more of the ideas. Clarification of the concept would allow the hopscotch motif to add layers to the meaning.
Care with the use of space so that transitions are not seen would clarify the place the characters are in, and improve credibility of the situations.
High Not Achieved
91513B Exemplar High Not Achieved (PDF | 50 KB)
Commentary
For Achieved, the student needs to devise and perform a drama to realise a concept.
This involves creating an original and credible drama and realising it in performance.
There is no video evidence available at this grade.
This student has developed ideas into a concept (1) and devised a solo drama.
To reach Achieved, the student could rework the concept to create some distance between the actor and the concept, so that the student is able to view the work objectively and shape the material more credibly. Ideas in the concept need to be developed using improvisation to create scenes, and enactments created that convey the ideas delivered in the projection and song lyrics.
Movement needs to develop and communicate the concept. Elements and conventions need to be used to show the story rather than telling it through projection and song lyrics.
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This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. Annotated exemplars are extracts of student evidence, with commentary, that explain key parts of a standard. These help teachers make assessment judgements at the grade boundaries.
Download all exemplars and commentary [PDF, 242 KB]
TKI Drama Assessment resources (external link)